double testify

As missionaries we are placed with a teaching companion that we spend our every waking moment with. My memories of past and present companions are filled the good, the bad, and the unusual. Today I wanted to share an experience from my current companion, Sister McCracken. Knowing that I could not do it justice I asked her to share with you her experience from her side.

"I used to think I had it all together. I was sure I had life figured out. I was positive I was going to conquer the world. Then I realized I knew nothing, I didn’t have it together, and I hadn’t even conquered myself.

Isaiah knew I was in for a wake-up call when he said “For the day of the Lord of hosts shall be upon every one that is lifted up; and he shall be brought low.” (Isaiah 2:12) Recently I’ve been brought very low. I’ve been realizing my weaknesses one by one, and then 20 by 20, well that may be an exaggeration, but it feels like that. As painful as that is, I realized last night as I cried to my dear companion that it could become a good thing. She reminded me of the verse in Ether when the Lord says “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me. Then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)

But the thing is I have to humble myself for this to work. He cannot work upon me until I humble myself and ask for that help. And then there is the next difficult part of this process…Time. It takes time. It’s called a mighty change of heart for a reason. To me it seems like something mighty isn’t going to happen in the next ten minutes, ten hours, ten days, or maybe even ten years. Each case will be something different and will take a different amount of time, but it can be done. And the product will always be beautiful. Alma describes it as “… [Feeling] to sing the song of redeeming love…” (Alma 5:26). And I can testify that as I’ve slowly felt that change of heart, I have felt that way.  It is a painful process that has ripped me apart emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually sometimes.  And it sometimes does feel like my heart is literally changing. (Anyone want to pay for an MRI to prove it?) But in all seriousness, today I’m just going to focus on humbling myself and let Heavenly Father do the rest." -Sister McCracken  

I am so grateful for my companion. We are learning together. Mighty changes are hard and we are both working to become more Christlike in all we do. It's hard because we have to look at ourselves from a different perspective. Look the way that our Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ would look. As we pray for this change and work with all our might to become better the Lord truly will make "our weak things become strong."