purple skittles

I LOVE purple skittles! They are my very favorite candy.. next to almond joys that is. Whenever someone asks me what they can do for me I most always say "A purple bag of skittles." 98% of the time I don't get them. Maybe I'm just being a little silly but I really want them! I desire them but I am not committed to doing everything it takes to get them.

I was thinking about real intent this morning. Sometimes we may ask Heavenly Father for something and then we don't receive it. Some of us might walk around saying things like "He doesn't love us" or "Why doesn't He care about me?" when we don't get something we think we deserve. We often times forget about real intent. When Moroni exhorts us to pray about the Book of Mormon he says "if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you..." Real intent meaning we will act on the answer we receive. Have you ever prayed and said "if you give me this then I will do this!" I think we all have fallen into that kind of thinking at one point in our lives. That is not real intent unless we are going to hold our end of the deal. How often do we say things without meaning them?

Holding our end of the deal is always so important. Heavenly Father doesn't need to prove that He loves us by answering each one of our prayers. We need to prove we love Him by having real intent and keeping His commandments. Jesus Christ said "If ye love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15) "Real intent is a commitment." (Elder Dallin H. Oaks)

I know when I actually get my skittles that 2% of the time they mean so much more to me. If I would get them every time then it wouldn't feel as special. I would always get what I wanted and turn into a spoiled brat. People know that having skittles isn't going to help or harm me, its just something silly I am asking for. Even when we have real intent sometimes we still aren't given what we desire. Asking more than one time and doing everything in our power to make that prayer come alive is so important. He will answer your prayer! "Answers will come in the Lord’s own way and in His time." (Barbara Thompson)

prayers of soy milk

Recently I have decided that I was going to switch to drinking Soy milk. Bad idea without trying it first! It is not very good. This morning right before eating my breakfast I prayed to Heavenly Father to make it taste better, and what do ya know it was a lot better then my first try. Prayers no matter how silly we think they are sometimes or how small are something special to our Heavnely Father. He answers our prayers because He loves us!

The great Book of Mormon prophet Nephi shares loads of experiences from his life on receiving answers to prayers. In 1 Nephi 2:16 he say's "having great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father..." I like Nephi didn't receive what I wanted just by sitting back and expecting Heavenly Father to just give it to me. We both prayed and asked for the things that we desired.

We need to not be afraid to ask our Heavenly Father for the things that we need, want, or desire. If He didnt want to help us, hear our cries, our stories and all about our lives... He wouldnt have taught us about prayer. President Henry B. Eyring stated "Every child of God can commune in prayer with Him." We are ALL children of God!

Prayer is how we ask.. and most often prayers are answered through other people. We have a special opportunity to hear from the Prophet and Apostles this weekend at General Conference. I have recently been reminded to "Think of questions [I] want answered during general conference. Write them down and pray to know the answers." (President Barry, mission president) 

I know that if we pray and seek for the answers we desire that we will receive them. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf promised blessings of receiving answers to these prays and said "Answers to your specific prayers may come directly from a particular talk or from a specific phrase. At other times answers may come in a seemingly unrelated word, phrase, or song. A heart filled with gratitude for the blessings of life and an earnest desire to hear and follow the words of counsel will prepare the way for personal revelation."

Prepare now! Ask for help direction, comfort whatever it may be. You will receive these answers as you watch conference this weekend with an open heart.

double testify

As missionaries we are placed with a teaching companion that we spend our every waking moment with. My memories of past and present companions are filled the good, the bad, and the unusual. Today I wanted to share an experience from my current companion, Sister McCracken. Knowing that I could not do it justice I asked her to share with you her experience from her side.

"I used to think I had it all together. I was sure I had life figured out. I was positive I was going to conquer the world. Then I realized I knew nothing, I didn’t have it together, and I hadn’t even conquered myself.

Isaiah knew I was in for a wake-up call when he said “For the day of the Lord of hosts shall be upon every one that is lifted up; and he shall be brought low.” (Isaiah 2:12) Recently I’ve been brought very low. I’ve been realizing my weaknesses one by one, and then 20 by 20, well that may be an exaggeration, but it feels like that. As painful as that is, I realized last night as I cried to my dear companion that it could become a good thing. She reminded me of the verse in Ether when the Lord says “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me. Then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)

But the thing is I have to humble myself for this to work. He cannot work upon me until I humble myself and ask for that help. And then there is the next difficult part of this process…Time. It takes time. It’s called a mighty change of heart for a reason. To me it seems like something mighty isn’t going to happen in the next ten minutes, ten hours, ten days, or maybe even ten years. Each case will be something different and will take a different amount of time, but it can be done. And the product will always be beautiful. Alma describes it as “… [Feeling] to sing the song of redeeming love…” (Alma 5:26). And I can testify that as I’ve slowly felt that change of heart, I have felt that way.  It is a painful process that has ripped me apart emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually sometimes.  And it sometimes does feel like my heart is literally changing. (Anyone want to pay for an MRI to prove it?) But in all seriousness, today I’m just going to focus on humbling myself and let Heavenly Father do the rest." -Sister McCracken  

I am so grateful for my companion. We are learning together. Mighty changes are hard and we are both working to become more Christlike in all we do. It's hard because we have to look at ourselves from a different perspective. Look the way that our Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ would look. As we pray for this change and work with all our might to become better the Lord truly will make "our weak things become strong."

not my will

Round 15... unload the bikes and what do you know... my front tire is flat! Its been 6 long weeks of try after try to get my companion and I seated on bikes. First no bikes, then no bike rack for the car, then no hitch, then no bikes again etc etc. After this last attempt I finally gave in.. "Maybe we aren't supposed to ride bikes!" I had forgotten the phrase "Not my will but thine."

We forget in our desperate wants and desires to give in to the Lord and what He wants for us. We think it's all about us and what we want. It's not all give me, give me and then BAM it's at your door or in your mail box. Sometimes in these moments of self centered wishes we forget to ask the Lord. To talk to Him about what He thinks is the best option.

We should seek each day for the will of our Lord. Not always for the things that we want. Time, effort, emotions and sometimes money are saved when we, as my mom would say, "Do it right the first time, then you won't have to do it again." Neal A. Maxwell said  "As you submit your wills to God, you are giving Him the only thing you can actually give Him that is really yours to give. Don't wait too long to find the altar or to begin to place the gift of your wills upon it! No need to wait for a receipt; the Lord has His own special ways of acknowledging." 


  "... the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." (Mosiah 24:15) Lets pray a little harder and follow a little stronger the will of the Lord. In doing I know that our lives will be in harmony with our Heavenly Father. Like Alma I have seen happiness when I have submitted cheerfully. 

image in His countenance

The secret is out. I once had a bright red fohawk. During my time in hair school I tried lots of different things. I am crazy and a little odd I know. Those who knew me knew it was my personality. those who didn't, were a little taken back, some were scared and some were receiving the wrong message about me.

Shortly after cutting and coloring my hair a close church leader of mine talked to me about my choice. He told me that he didn't like the hairstyle and that it was sending the wrong message to people. That I was not the kind of girl that the hairstyle was portraying me to be.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about modesty and Virtue. We as children of our Father in Heaven think that we must "stand out" or be our own person. Like me, some people take extremes and do things that are a little crazy. I have noticed a lot of these trends or fashions lately. Women dressing immodestly,  men wearing their pants really low, extreme piercing and tattoo's to name just a few. When we realize that our bodies are sacred gifts from God we gain more self respect. "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" (1 Corinthians 3:16)

Modesty in dress, grooming language and behavior refelcts our virtue. It also effects the way others stay virtuous. If we are dressing to "impress" the world then thoughts and actions are going to be taken out of control and spiral downward into a depth of sin and self disrespect. How often do things we do or say send the wrong message to those around us?

Elaine S. Dalton said “Virtue is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It encompasses chastity and moral purity. Virtue includes modesty—in thought, language, dress, and demeanor. Virtue provides an anchor on the path leading to our Heavenly Father’s presence. The paths of virtue lead to happiness in this life and in the life to come. The paths of virtue lead to strong families. The paths of virtue contain the foundation stones for the blessings of eternity. They lead to the temple.”

I know that each day we are sending message's to people in all things that we do. If we follow Jesus Christ and His gospel we should be sending messages of love and hope. We should be virtuous and modest. We need to show forth His light. I loved my crazy hair. I did not however like the things people thought about me and my hair. "I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?" (Alma 5:19) Have you received His image in your Countenance?

transforming our garden

First thing this morning my companion and I went on what seemed like a jungle exploration. In reality, we offered service cleaning an overgrown yard. We were loaded with tools and supplies to help us on this adventure and then sent on our own to finish what seemed like and impossible task. A beautiful garden overloaded by weeds, and trash that soon was transformed into something of better use. 

Our lives are like gardens. Sometimes taken over by weeds, shrubs, dirt and many other things that seem to distract us or tear us down. Heavenly Father is the Gardener. He uses his own tools to help de-weed, and transform us. Gloves, clippers, rakes, and trash bags, hold nothing against the Spiritual tools used in our lives everyday. Spiritual tools like humility, hope, faith, repentance, love and many others. He can take any type of raw material and make it into something new and beautiful. We must be submissive and allow our lives to be in harmony with His will. 

Elder D. Todd Christofferson  recently shared a story illustrating this. "President Hugh B. Brown, provided a personal experience. He told of purchasing a rundown farm in Canada many years ago. As he went about cleaning up and repairing his property, he came across a currant bush that had grown over six feet (1.8 m) high and was yielding no berries, so he pruned it back drastically, leaving only small stumps. Then he saw a drop like a tear on the top of each of these little stumps, as if the currant bush were crying, and thought he heard it say:

“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. … And now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me. … How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”

President Brown replied, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down.’”

Years later, President Brown was a field officer in the Canadian Army serving in England... [He] was in line to be promoted to general, and he was summoned to London. But even though he was fully qualified for the promotion, it was denied him because he was a Mormon...What President Brown had spent 10 years hoping, praying, and preparing for slipped through his fingers...Continuing his story, President Brown remembered:

“I got on the train and started back … with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. … When I got to my tent, … I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, ‘How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?’ I was as bitter as gall.

“And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, ‘I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.’ The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness. …

“… And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to [God] and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’”

Our Heavnely Father loves us and we might not like the changes we have to make to be pruned and trimmed but they make us what He needs us to be.  He knows the what, where, when, where, and why of our lifes, or shall I say our gardens. It's hard work. Nothing comes easy. But the more we submitt to His will, the easier it seems to become. "For the natural man is an enemy to God... and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosiah 3:19)

power of the priesthood

Not many people know this but I am in love with the Priesthood. OK not necessarily in love but I am so grateful for the wondrous gift that it is to be on the earth when we have this authority. I get so excited when I study about it! I wanted to share with you some of the wonderful aspects of its beauty.

"True to the faith" a book I love, tells us that Heavenly Father gives His Priesthood to worthy men "so they can act in his name for the Salvation of His Children." But this unique blessing isn't just given to anyone that walks up and says "Hey I want this power." In Hebrews 5:4 it says "And no man taketh this ^ahonour unto himself, but he that is ^bcalled of God, as was ^cAaron." Worthy men belonging to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hold this Priesthood because it was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith.

People often ask me if I am upset that I can not hold the Priesthood as a woman. I smile a little and tell them that I am not upset. This is the way that Heavenly Father intended it to be. But this morning it hit me in a new way as I studied. Another quote from "True to the Faith" that I really loved said "we all benefit from the influence of righteous priesthood leaders." This statement is so true! I have seen, heard, felt and loved the influence of the Priesthood in many ways. I don't have to "hold" the Priesthood to know its real or to have it bless my life.

Gordon B. Hinckley a late prophet of the Church said "The priesthood is here. It has been conferred upon us. We act in that authority. We speak as sons of God in the name of Jesus Christ and as holders of this divinely given endowment. We know, for we have seen, the power of this priesthood. We have seen the sick healed, the lame made to walk, and the coming of light and knowledge and understanding to those who have been in darkness.

  We have not acquired it through purchase or bargain. The Lord has given it to men who are considered worthy to receive it, regardless of station in life, the color of their skin, or the nation in which they live. It is the power and the authority to govern in the affairs of the kingdom of God. It is given only by ordination by the laying on of hands by those in authority to do so. The qualification for eligibility is obedience to the commandments of God.

   There is no power on the earth like it. Its authority extends beyond life, through the veil of death, to the eternities ahead. It is everlasting in its consequences."

I testify that the Priesthood is real! I have felt it countless times in many ways. I am so grateful for each of the men in my life that hold and honor their Priesthood! I am so thankful for a loving Father in Heaven that would allow this power to be on the earth for the Salvation of His children.

miracles and band aid's

I have recently been reminded of the greatness and mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We sat in a lesson with a mom while her bouncy 2 year old rummaged through my purse next to me. Suddenly she noticed something on my face, pointed it out so graciously, popped off the couch and ran down the hall. Returning moments later pulling my face down to her and placing an angry birds band aid over the "boo-boo."

What a tender heart, she wanted to make sure I was feeling better and taken care of. Much like our Savior Jesus Christ. He heals us inside and out. I am reminded of a testimony from a missionary that was so powerfully given. "How grateful I am for a Big Brother that can fix anything." Band aid or not He is there with open arms waiting for us to reach out to Him.

One of my favorite stories from the Bible is the story of the woman who knew if she could just touch His clothes that she would be healed. "And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague. And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that ^avirtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes?" Of all those people around and touching Him, He knew the ONE! "And his disciples said unto him, Thou seest the multitude thronging thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me? And he looked round about to see her that had done this thing. But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what was done in her, came and fell down before him, and told him all the truth. And he said unto her, Daughter, thy ^afaith hath made thee whole; go in ^bpeace, and be whole of thy plague." (Mark 5:29-34) I find so much power in this simple testimony of such a great woman. It brings warm rays of love into my heart each time I read about her faith.

I know that my Savior lives. He knows just what we need and He will make us whole. What a beautiful gift. It was not free. He had to suffer and bleed in order to know how to heal us. He loves us so much that even when it was tough He couldn't turn away from the will of the Father. He knew that without his sacrifice we wouldn't have anyone to place a "band aid" over our "boo-boo's." Be that one that He says so lovingly to "thy ^afaith hath made thee whole; go in ^bpeace"