double testify

As missionaries we are placed with a teaching companion that we spend our every waking moment with. My memories of past and present companions are filled the good, the bad, and the unusual. Today I wanted to share an experience from my current companion, Sister McCracken. Knowing that I could not do it justice I asked her to share with you her experience from her side.

"I used to think I had it all together. I was sure I had life figured out. I was positive I was going to conquer the world. Then I realized I knew nothing, I didn’t have it together, and I hadn’t even conquered myself.

Isaiah knew I was in for a wake-up call when he said “For the day of the Lord of hosts shall be upon every one that is lifted up; and he shall be brought low.” (Isaiah 2:12) Recently I’ve been brought very low. I’ve been realizing my weaknesses one by one, and then 20 by 20, well that may be an exaggeration, but it feels like that. As painful as that is, I realized last night as I cried to my dear companion that it could become a good thing. She reminded me of the verse in Ether when the Lord says “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me. Then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)

But the thing is I have to humble myself for this to work. He cannot work upon me until I humble myself and ask for that help. And then there is the next difficult part of this process…Time. It takes time. It’s called a mighty change of heart for a reason. To me it seems like something mighty isn’t going to happen in the next ten minutes, ten hours, ten days, or maybe even ten years. Each case will be something different and will take a different amount of time, but it can be done. And the product will always be beautiful. Alma describes it as “… [Feeling] to sing the song of redeeming love…” (Alma 5:26). And I can testify that as I’ve slowly felt that change of heart, I have felt that way.  It is a painful process that has ripped me apart emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually sometimes.  And it sometimes does feel like my heart is literally changing. (Anyone want to pay for an MRI to prove it?) But in all seriousness, today I’m just going to focus on humbling myself and let Heavenly Father do the rest." -Sister McCracken  

I am so grateful for my companion. We are learning together. Mighty changes are hard and we are both working to become more Christlike in all we do. It's hard because we have to look at ourselves from a different perspective. Look the way that our Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ would look. As we pray for this change and work with all our might to become better the Lord truly will make "our weak things become strong."

image in His countenance

The secret is out. I once had a bright red fohawk. During my time in hair school I tried lots of different things. I am crazy and a little odd I know. Those who knew me knew it was my personality. those who didn't, were a little taken back, some were scared and some were receiving the wrong message about me.

Shortly after cutting and coloring my hair a close church leader of mine talked to me about my choice. He told me that he didn't like the hairstyle and that it was sending the wrong message to people. That I was not the kind of girl that the hairstyle was portraying me to be.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about modesty and Virtue. We as children of our Father in Heaven think that we must "stand out" or be our own person. Like me, some people take extremes and do things that are a little crazy. I have noticed a lot of these trends or fashions lately. Women dressing immodestly,  men wearing their pants really low, extreme piercing and tattoo's to name just a few. When we realize that our bodies are sacred gifts from God we gain more self respect. "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" (1 Corinthians 3:16)

Modesty in dress, grooming language and behavior refelcts our virtue. It also effects the way others stay virtuous. If we are dressing to "impress" the world then thoughts and actions are going to be taken out of control and spiral downward into a depth of sin and self disrespect. How often do things we do or say send the wrong message to those around us?

Elaine S. Dalton said “Virtue is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It encompasses chastity and moral purity. Virtue includes modesty—in thought, language, dress, and demeanor. Virtue provides an anchor on the path leading to our Heavenly Father’s presence. The paths of virtue lead to happiness in this life and in the life to come. The paths of virtue lead to strong families. The paths of virtue contain the foundation stones for the blessings of eternity. They lead to the temple.”

I know that each day we are sending message's to people in all things that we do. If we follow Jesus Christ and His gospel we should be sending messages of love and hope. We should be virtuous and modest. We need to show forth His light. I loved my crazy hair. I did not however like the things people thought about me and my hair. "I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?" (Alma 5:19) Have you received His image in your Countenance?

a test of faith

This morning we woke up to rain. On any normal day this would have been fine. But on this particular day we had decided to ride our bikes. You can call it stubbornness but I wouldn't settle for the warm dry car. When we first started riding the rain had stopped, we thought we would be fine. The further and further we got away from our car the rain slowly became worse. Head down and hands tightly gripped to my handle bars we pressed forward to our appointment. We could have turned back. We could have gotten back in the car and driven, but we had decided to ride.

We all face what seems like unachievable trials. James E Faust said “Everybody in this life has their challenges and difficulties. That is part of our mortal test. The reason for some of these trials cannot be readily understood except on the basis of faith and hope because there is often a larger purpose which we do not always understand. Peace comes through hope.” Peace comes through hope! I love that. What a beautiful thought.

There is always light at the end of the tunnel. As we press through these difficult tasks we need to stay positive and remember that our Savior is always there to support and help us! "Turn to the Lord. Exercise all of the faith you have in Him. Let Him share your burden. Allow His grace to lighten your load." ( Donald D. Hallstrom) I know that if we turn to the Lord He will lighten our load and make the things we are doing easy to bear. The rain beating on our faces wasn't as noticeable as we sang hymns peddling as fast as we could toward the warm home ahead. With faith we can do all things! But having faith doesn't mean that everything will be perfect. Alma a great Book of Mormon prophet explains faith in one of my favorite ways."And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true." (Alma 32:21) Remember peace comes through hope? It truly does. 

I love my Savior and am so grateful that He is willing to help and support me in my trials. I could not make it another day if He wasn't there to lift and support me. He pulls me up off  feeble knees daily and helps me to know that I am not alone! I am never alone.

racing to repentance

So there I was flying down the race track at just over 100 mph, with the sun beating right down on me. Sweat dripping from my eye brow and the finish line just in reach I feel a jerk from something to my left and BAM.... I am sent back into reality. The race track faded and the noisy engines disappeared back into my imagination. Now faced with the real world I took off my stinky helmet and climbed out of the silent car.

Sometimes we find ourselves in imaginary worlds not ready or willing to face the reality and truth that is before us. We cover up sin, with rationalization or just by pure neglect to follow God's will. Whatever the case may be we send our minds into a universe that only we can see and hear. A place where we think no one can enter. Quentin L. Cook said, "Rationalization for bad choices will not be effective, but repentance will. Those who repent will be particularly blessed by the Atonement."

Repentance is real and it heals and blesses us as we allow Jesus Christ to come into our hearts. "And he hath power given unto him from the Father to redeem them from their sins because of repentance;" Helaman 5:11

Repentance is also hard. But I will be the first to tell you that it is worth it. Jesus Christ came to help us overcome our struggles and problems. The more I have turned to Him to allow Him to help me the closer I feel to Him. "Sincere repentance brings several results. We feel God’s forgiveness and His peace in our lives. Our guilt and sorrow are swept away. We feel the influence of the Spirit in greater abundance. And when we pass from this life, we will be more prepared to live with our Heavenly Father and His Son." (Preach My Gospel pg 62)

“Sometimes in our repentance, in our daily efforts to become more Christlike, we find ourselves repeatedly struggling with the same difficulties. As if we were climbing a tree-covered mountain, at times we don’t see our progress until we get closer to the top and look back from the high ridges. Don’t be discouraged. If you are striving and working to repent, you are in the process of repenting.”  Neil L. Andersen

Remove the rationalization, over come the pride and accept that Jesus Christ can heal you from the guilt and shame that you might feel in your life. I have felt it in my life and I pray that you will feel His love as you sincerely pray to be forgiven. I know that He can help! Step out of the race car and into the arms of the one who knows you and your trials far better then anyone else. Because He has been there and He knows how to help! "...and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people...and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." Alma 7:11-12

sticky notes of love

My mind is racing all over the place! It has been a crazy last few days. I have been out of my normal area and in Jacksonville. I was not used to all the traffic and the hustle and bustle of the city. I missed my little Country town. I missed the zillions of stars and the quiet, peaceful back roads. I was so thankful to be back into my own area. Coming back meant bringing a new companion with me. Fear soon settled into my mind and the thought of "starting over" played over and over in my head. It was not a thought that I wanted. But the tender mercies of the Lord were all over when we walked into our apartment.

My former Companion had put sticky notes all over my wall to thank me. Even though I didn't feel like I had done anything. On each note was something that she liked about me or something that I had taught her. Tears settled in and I could feel the Spirit testify to me that what I was doing was right. That is one of the best feelings ever. These last few days have taught me a lot about being humble. Preach my Gospel talks about humility. It says when you are humble "You are confident that you can do whatever the Lord requires of you if you rely on Him." I will not lie to you. I have a hard time being humble. But I am so thankful for the lessons that I have learned about this Christ like attribute!

I cant explain to you the exact moment that humbled me. I cant pin point my feelings that helped me learn this valuable lesson but I am so grateful that it happened. I have full faith and trust in my Savior Jesus Christ. One of my favorite Scriptures is Alma 26:12, "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak.."  I was trying to take on the world by myself, but was brought to realize that I am not alone in this. Through all the events and advice that I have been given the last week or so I have learned so much! James E. Faust said  "...It is the humility that allows us to accept and live with our own warts, without cosmetics to hide them.” Step back for a second! Think of the Lord and all that He has done for you. The marvelous things that He has planned for you and I promise that you will be brought to humility. You will come to know just like I did that I can not do it alone but with Him I can do all things!

smelling the roses

God has created so many wonderful and beautiful things! What a special privilege we have as brothers and sisters to be a part of this world that He made just for us! "Behold, the Lord hath created the earth that it should be inhabited; and he hath created his children that they should possess it." (1 Nephi17:36) I love to just take in the beauty of the world that is around us. I sit and marvel and the wondrous things that He has created just for us. "..all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator." (Alma 30:44) There has to be a God! There is no way that this world just happened to be here.

 It makes me feel so special and so loved! He knows each of us so individually and loves each us so much! Yet there is so much out there in this BIG BEAUTIFUL world!  It amazes me that we are all so different even down to the very hairs of our heads. One day my companion and I were sitting in the car during a lunch. She was talking about her hair and how she wanted to get it cut. As I sat there thinking about it, I started comparing our hair. Thick and thin, soft and coarse! We are so different. But we are all created in His image!

I am so thankful for a loving and wonderful Heavenly Father that cared enough for me to send me here to this Earth. As beautiful as it may be it is hard, but it only makes those moments when you stop and smell the roses that much sweeter! It makes me feel like He is so close!